I just wanted to thank you for a fabulous session yesterday. As a big fan of traditional school roleplay I have been very keen to visit you for a long time; it’s taken a fair while to engineer an overdue visit to Derby, but my word it was worth it; it was everything I had imagined and hoped for – and then some. You were, indeed, the epitome of the strict, beautiful, cane-wielding disciplinarian, resplendent in suit and gown as you meted out punishment to your head boy for newly disclosed misdemeanours from his badly behaved past. I can only agree with your friends who have suggested that your acting skills could grace the West End. The roleplay was absolutely brilliant – taking our loosely agreed plot as a basis for what would happen, and then letting things take a few natural twists and turns. It just flowed; there was never any awkwardness, and I just loved it. I think the level of discipline was probably a notch or two up on what I have experienced before; I can only say that it was amazing, and whilst being bent over to receive a series of sound thrashings I never felt anything other than supremely safe in your skilful and experienced hands. Surprise of the day – that heavy school plimsoll hurts a lot more than I thought it would! You are a wonderfully charming person to chat to out of session, and it was only when I left that I realised how generous you had been with your time. I very much hope there will be a next time – maybe for an appointment with the birch…