Domina Liza | Midlands Mistress and Dominatrix in Derby

Domina Liza

Here you will find articles written by Domina Liza: an insight into various aspects of BDSM and fetishism which draw on her experience from all areas of her profession and are intended to give you, the reader, an insight into the many different sides of femdom, BDSM and fetishism from her own personal perspective.

Be sure to check back every week or so, as new articles are added.

The Dominatrix – Bullwhips, Strapons and Modern Male Sexuality

Collins defines a dominatrix as ‘a woman who plays the dominant role in a sado-masochistic sexual relationship or encounter’ or, ‘a woman who dominates’. The use of this word dates back to the mid 1500’s, and has evolved over time to become a description associated with a certain type of empowered woman. The word dominatrix is often used to describe me, and this is something I am comfortable with.
How has the image portrayed by the word ‘dominatrix’ changed over the last century, and has the changing and liberation of personal and sexual identity affected this?

The reason for this blog is a conversation I was having with a friend the other day; we were discussing the stereotypical image of a dominatrix (domme, domina et al) and how it has changed in recent years. For a long time over the last century, the visual image the word dominatrix would often conjure up would be synonymous with a Russ Meyer-esque lady, more often than not brandishing a bullwhip or similar, or perhaps a stern matriarch.

As such, the image of the woman herself has not changed, often powerful, sexual, confident and exuding an air of inaccessibility. The tools however seem a little different these days; whereas earlier conveyances were around pain (mild to severe) and denial, much more focus seems to be on the sexual and depraved (I use the word depraved in a non-derogatory sense here).

Societies and cultures have always grown and evolved by pushing boundaries and exploration, and it would seem that the same has happened in the world of professional domination. If you search for content online relating to female domination you are now just as likely to find images, and certainly videos of men being taken from behind with a prosthetic penis, performing intimate body worship or being ‘milked’ as you are to see someone being restrained or spanked.

Let me be clear, I am not putting these activities down; everyone’s kink is individual – look on my Twitter page, or at my films and you will see that I am no stranger to the odd strap-on myself, you might even say I look good in one…
What I am driving at is how the face of the game has changed. How the face of mainstream has changed and why.

Today there seems to be a large focus on the ‘female cock’. In earlier years, the thought of receiving a dildo either orally or anally would have shocked and appalled most males and I wonder how many dominas actually offered this type of thing, or indeed was there any demand for it. Nowadays, it seems more commonplace, with some even going as far as the real thing to please Mistress - notice the phrase 'to please Mistress'. How many men have acts of penetration performed on them ‘to please Mistress’? Surely from the amount of requests I have had over the years to sodomize someone, or to arrange ‘forced bi’, it would seem that the act itself is something that a lot of men are keen on, not just doing it for the sole pleasure of their dominant. Why? Because it is more socially acceptable within certain circles these days? Because it doesn’t label the participant ‘gay’? Because it brings you closer in a sexual way to your dominant that no other activity could? And why recently? One school of thought is that with the advent of the internet, more activities and diverse acts which were previously behind closed doors are now accessible ideas for the prospective participant.

If a submissive or slave wishes to please Mistress, then why are acts of a phallic nature requested more in recent years, and not a caning or bondage scenario or perhaps chastity – why would the embodiment of female power choose to wear a male phallus in order to prove her dominance? Maybe simply because she can.

Let’s face it, the act of using a strap-on is one of inserting something designed to replicate a male penis into the mouth or anus. I used to walk my dogs in a lovely park - on Sunday afternoons you would always see cars lined up, with men waiting to perform acts on each other. These men would walk from their vehicles to copses of trees to do the obvious. These men though were not stereotyped - they were builders, businessmen, young men in their twenties in sports cars – to all intents and purposes everyday heterosexual males, a lot of them with wedding rings! Is there now a greater liberation in society that brands such male behavior ‘acceptable’? Is there now a blur between the sexualities, and is bisexuality almost extinct? For many this is a wonderful concept – you are not ‘gay, straight or bi’, you are you.

So, back to BDSM – is there something about the sucking, something about being taken; is it a physical pleasure, mental or both? Is it psychological - for some the sucking subconsciously taking the place of a mothers teat? Is it about power exchange and a show of utter dominance (often displayed by animals too – I have seen male horses mount each other in a display of hierarchy) Or is it just ‘for the hell of it’ – the buzz of doing something taboo and debauched and deriving pleasure from adrenaline and endorphins? Back to my original question - has this tidal wave of sexual exploration and liberation over the past decades affected the image of the dominatrix? Of course, but then by definition, a dominatrix is a dominant woman, and that means she has the integrity to do what she wants, and not what society expects.

There are more questions than answers in this article for a reason – there are no 'right' answers. There are billions of people on this planet, all with their own motivators and sexual identities. For some, there is no sexual element, I have played with many over the years who have a genuine, unselfish desire to please women, or are simply masochists driven by the release of bodily chemicals into the bloodstream or by catharsis and escapism.
I am merely observing a tangible change in a culture which I have inhabited for most of my adult life.

I will also never stop spanking people.